Independence Day

In a few days it will be the 4th of July, a day to celebrate our independence from the British. Traditionally, it will also be a day of celebration for the Chinese, who will watch our hard earned money go up in smoke after purchasing their fireworks.

Ah, yes. There will be plenty of fireworks displays, alcohol, and cookouts. What could possibly go wrong? Naturally, there will probably be a few missing fingers, eyeballs, and charred skin, but I guess that is the price we Americans pay for what we call a good time. With the constant boom of explosions, our dear beloved pets will be cowering under the bed or will run off for days, and our poor war veterans will probably cringe at every boom and bang.

Why do we subject ourselves to such a frivolous orgy of booms and booze? Because we're Americans, and it's fun, that's why! And between the burgers and Budweisers, it might dawn on some of us the reason we're celebrating in the first place, but most will just be glad to have a Wednesday off work and an excellent excuse to eat and drink. After all, that's what our forefathers would have wanted, right?

I wonder if the Brits who are visiting at this time will celebrate our 4th of July? They may just keep a low profile. They're good blokes, so they probably don't care after 236 years anyway.


To the group of patriots who work the emergency rooms and the firemen who extinguish the "out-of-control" pyrotechnics, we salute you!

Have a safe and sober 4th of July!